I officially launched my business in May of 2019. I had been exploring the world of coaching, and through a series of events that seemed too perfectly timed to be coincidence, I began working with a (very expensive) coach on building my coaching practice. I learned a lot from her in the six months we worked together, but I couldn't seem to get my sea legs under her guidance. She had been mentored into a VERY specific way of coaching and communicating that she was teaching me, but it just wasn't ME; it was very stuffy and formal (hopefully 2 words you'd NEVER use to describe me ;)), and any attempt to find my own voice was met with correction and redirection.
I worked hard to find clients, but the way I was going about it felt calculated, formulaic and manipulative; in a word, GROSS. This coach was wildly successful (or so she told me) being calculated, formulaic and manipulative, so I erroneously assumed that her way was THE way to do things. But I just couldn't HACK IT! I had some success and worked with a few incredible women, who helped confirm for me that I really DID indeed want to coach single women!
My first coach said that successful coaches always have a coach themselves, so when I finished my contract with her, I knew I needed something different, and I immediately jumped in with someone new, someone whose approach was almost completely opposite, very relaxed, very much about me finding my own voice and way. But her tactics and techniques involved a lot of f-bombs and boobs and lingerie in her content, and again, it just wasn't ME. I again had some success (despite not swearing or bearing all on the internet) and continued to work with some incredible women, but again, nothing sustainable.
My contract ended with her at about the same time I quit my day job. I thought that maybe the kick in the pants I needed to actually get some momentum in my business was to go ALL IN, to have the financial pressure to help spur me to action. I joined another mastermind and coaching group shortly after quitting my job, but I wasn't able to actually take my business anywhere. Again, some success, but nothing sustainable...
What was wrong with me?! Others seemed to be able to create these businesses of their DREAMS, have time freedom, location freedom, travel while making money in their sleep, all while doing meaningful work that they LOVED and I just couldn't HACK IT! Was it me?! Did I need another degree? (Probably not, but I got one anyway.) Was it a course I needed? (No, but do I have a graveyard of expensive, unwatched business courses claiming to be just the thing I needed? You bet I do.) Was it the coaches I was hiring?! (Maybe I just needed someone NEW!) What was the missing piece in all of this?!
Does this sound familiar? Maybe you're not an entrepreneur, but maybe you've had these thoughts about dating (I know I sure did!):
What is wrong with me? Others seem to find the relationships of their dreams, have their white picket fences, and live happily ever after... Why can't I HACK it?! Is it me?! Do I need a different app? Do I need new profile pictures? Maybe I need better hobbies. Maybe I need to go out more. Maybe I need to do what this gal or that gal did. What is the missing piece in all this?!
Part of the problem in both business AND in dating? Outsourcing agency. Looking for answers OUT THERE. I tried everyone else's plans, their tips, tricks, techniques, tactics... and they ultimately FAILED ME! Because they were too prescriptive and inauthentic to who I AM and how I operate in the world!
Does this sound like you too? Have you experienced this kind of frustration? What has been your biggest obstacle when it comes to meeting someone? Comment below!
Tomorrow, we’ll be exploring the missing piece in all my business missteps…